Perfect Day Gone Downhill By Evening

Yesterday was an amazing day until the evening.  My sister and I were able to share an experience that I do not think many others are able to say they share.  Now that she is a pilot, she was able to take me up in Bill’s plane (the man who financed part of her getting her pilot’s license).  She was so official; she knew exactly what she was doing and there was not what second where I was nervous or remotely scared.  I was very proud to call her my sister not that I am usually not proud to call her my sister.  She was so relaxed flying; it was her element.  I could tell that was her hobby and that was way where she was happy and in her zone.  She read me all the rules before we took off, and did all the precautionary measures before we took off and before I knew it we were in the air and it was so smooth compared to Southwest!

Me getting ready!!!

My sister and I in the air

We were able to fly over my house, my grandparent’s house, my Uncle’s house, my Aunt’s house and my cousin’s house all of which were in Pennsylvania!  I couldn’t believe what usually takes an hour drive was about a ten-minute flight and the views were gorgeous.  I would take flying over driving any day now.  I wish I always had that option.

One of the views from the plane

The view of my house from the plane

My Uncle's house from the plane

After flying, my sister and I did a quick bonding trip into Old Navy; we literally spent probably 13 minutes in there and wracked up quite a bill.  It was funny running around asking each other if we thought it was a good buy or not; I was honest and so was she.  I think we got some good items that I am excited for fall.  Since I have the PICC line I personally like to wear a lot of shirts that come to my elbow and Old Navy had a ton so I lucked out!

Then after that I headed to get my blood drawn and then to lunch with Susan always a treat.  Lunch with Susan was inspiring; she brought me to tears because she does not even realize how much she does for me.  She was telling stories of her really sick days to remind me that I will get through what I am going through what I am going through right now.  We talked about coffee enemas, spending thousands on unnecessary clothes, taking Mepron until you gagged, and the list goes on.  She is going back on treatment next week and we decided to be treatment buddies that will support each other through anything and in a weird way that gave me reassurance and hope.

After lunch with Susan, I headed to my friend Heather’s to start baking and creating sides for her engagement party tomorrow.  After dating her finance for several years and now having little Stevie she is finally engaged and is having an engagement party!   I am happy for her and cannot wait for the wedding next September!  I am a bridesmaid and can’t wait to start helping her with anything she needs.  Heather is a great listener and has always supported me and listened to me whenever I needed it.

State of the art cupcakes :)

Finally after my work with Heather was complete because I did end up helping her create a registry at Macy’s, I headed home to have a goodbye dinner for my sister since she was leaving in the morning for Notre Dame.  I was actually really excited to get dressed up and go downtown to the inner harbor for dinner, but as soon as I got home and saw that my Mom had taken my clothes out of the washer and put them into the dryer, I became enraged.  Literally enraged.  I couldn’t go to dinner.  I shut down.  I was screaming and crying.  She shrunk one of my favorite new dresses and I do all of my laundry for a reason.  The worst part was she didn’t understand why I was so upset; my Dad and sister understood that I can’t handle certain things whereas my Mom after all these fucking years still doesn’t get it.  I think that was the biggest wound out of everything.  I was so disappointed in myself that I couldn’t go to this dinner for my sister, but I had to miss it.  I was a wreck and I couldn’t pull it together.  I sobbed and panted until I gagged myself to a vomit then still continued to cry as I held the scrapbook my best friend Paige made me.  I had never felt so lonely, disgusted, hurt, upset, angry, etc.  I punched the wall.  It was a disaster; I hyperventilated until I passed out because I apparently was asleep when my family got home and I never went to sleep.  I hadn’t been like that in forever, what a setback.  I couldn’t even do it for my own sister.  Lyme rage.  How do people control this?

“As with any journey, who you travel with can be more important than your destinantion.”