Lyme disease is a marathon and anyone who has it or any of
its coinfections or is even a caregiver to someone with it can attest to that statement. I am always looking for the quick fix and with Lyme there is
no “quick fix”; it is slow and steady wins the race. I am tired of this marathon and tired of people telling me
that it is a marathon. I like 5 k’s. I have been overly emotional recently
due to the die off reaction of the spirochete; I can’t seem to stop
crying. Everything sends me into
an emotional outburst of tears that just pour out of my eyes. It makes me want to resist being in
public because I never know what is going to send me over the edge or whom I
could be around when I am going to start to cry. Plus, my memory has been really bad not just Lyme bad, but
over the top bad. I can’t seem to
remember anything and I hate it.
Even when I write things down I can’t remember it; I have a calendar and
a journal and I still miss appointments!!!
My newest concern though is that my Babesia is taking
control of my body. I was at
physical therapy yesterday and just from light manual stimulation from my
physical therapist’s hands I had a bruise on my back from his thumb and I have
been having some blood in my urine, not to be confused with a UTI. I am going to message my LLMD and see
what they suggest I do because I know that this cannot be a good sign.
 |
| The bruise that is literally a thumb print |
In addition, I did bikram yoga yesterday as a detoxification
mechanism to try to sweat out the toxins in my body and boy did I sweat! It kicked my ass and in a way I
attribute that to me being sad about Paige being gone. I am still trying to cope with her
being back in California; I know I will see her soon but still it is a hard
loss for me because she was keeping me going with her positive, supportive
energy. After though I felt great,
way more alive after I got all of the toxins out of my body.
This is the second week of my protocol then I get two weeks
off; thank the Lord! Almost
there! This Clindamycin makes me
so nauseous! Also I am going to try
to get a massage this week to help push some of the toxins out of my body
because I am beginning to feel toxic again and I cannot afford a toxin build up
again similar to last time. Everyone else believes in me now it is time for me to truly
believe in myself.
One of the hardest things I have been wrapping my mind
around was seeing my second Mom, Linda on Sunday in the arboretum and her
telling me that she was close to death.
I could see it in her eyes and in her body; I could sense it. I am afraid that after her two sons
leave, that she too will leave but not for college like them. I am afraid of losing her; she has been
such a supporter in my life and I love her deeply. She always introduces me as her daughter; she always did want
a daughter. She has two sons and I
love having a family in Harrisonburg that I can go to if I need anything or if I
just need some peace and quiet or someone to talk to. I have never been taken in like the Green’s have accepted
me. I am going to do anything I can
to try and help her. She has Lyme,
Bartonella, Babesia, Mycotoxicity, and many other chemical sensitivities. Maybe I am wrong and she will pull
through; I will pray every single day for her and if others can too it would be
greatly appreciated. I can’t
afford to lose her.
 |
| Linda and I |
No comments:
Post a Comment