Bottled Up

I was so angry I could feel my heart pounding in my chest; it felt as though my heart was shaking in my chest cavity.  Today was a better day (Wednesday), I just have to start accepting I didn’t get to this point in one day so it will be a process; that is a mantra I need to forever remember nothing is going to put me into “remission” on my own.  Since I missed the lymph drainage massage, my first appointment was with the dentist for a normal teeth cleaning.  They keep emphasizing the importance of dental work and on teeth health.  There were no issues with the dental hygienist; all I had to do was sit there and look pretty.

My dentist chair here in Switzerland

Then, I headed to one of the MANY infusion rooms where I received my very first ozone therapy.  Ozone is offered in the states which is big unfortunately it is finding the right doctor for you who will administer it.  Unfortunately they were unable to use my port for ozone treatment and they needed a big vein, so I sacrificed my right foot.  They emphasized the importance of the ozone treatment for lyme patients; they said I will be rotating between the oxygen IVs and ozone treatment having one daily.

The foot IV for ozone

Ozone therapy

After the ozone treatment with the nurses who treat me like I am a human, I headed to meet with my doctor, doctor O.  During our sessions he was warm, compassionate and composed, as I was crumbling.  I was telling him I was losing my mind without sleep and how that was my first order of business.  He said let’s take a look at your prescriptions; an hour and a half later I eliminated 9 prescription medications and added 11 homeopathics.  The homeopathics I bought at the Apotheke included Weleda Nux Vomica Glob D 64 G (in case of stomach pain, emesis and nausea), ceres absinthium urtinkt (in water before the meal), iberogast tinkt (after ever meal), fortakehl kaps D 4 Trit 20 STK (bio antibiotic remedy),  sanum bacillus firmus kaps D 6 5 STk (1 per week for immune system), Ceres Dipasacus fullonoum urtrinkt (plant against bacteria), Formasan Tropfen (against rheumatic symptoms), Umwemba pastillen 135 STk (against all kinds of parasites and viruses), Okubaasan Trofpfen (against gas in instestine, to clean up), Phytodolor Tinktur 200 ML (against pain and inflammation, to exchange diclofenac), Omida Calcium Carbonicum LM6 (to stabilize constitution), and last but NOT least Omida Ignatia Glob C 30 10 G (before bed, to reduce paradox reaction).  The meds he took me off of include marinol, xifaxan, erythromycin, reglan, simethicone, colace, ativan, seroquel, and I am weaning my amitripline.  He kept repeating how he wants my body to learn to self regulate and medications only complicate my system’s ability to regulate.  It was interesting because he acknowledged I have bacteria but said no antibiotics; he said think about it antibiotics mean = against life.  Why would I want to do that to my body.  We need to support the mitocondria function in order to better support my system as a whole.  In addition, a big thing he emphasized was that infections such as SIBO only occur because the bacterium has the conditions to grow; so if we change the unhealthy environment and support my body then it shouldn’t occur.  Also, he agreed I do need to have my wisdom teeth removed but that is so far from where I am right now.  He said think about it right now you are pressing the gas, but not shifting so I am not going anywhere and we need to ease up on the gas and teach my body to drive the car again.  We need to stabilize before I can have any surgeries.  He also suggested we take a day break between doing the organ extract live cells because of how hyper sensitive my body is so I would do it every other day for two weeks vs. every day.  Our appointment went an hour over time and people were knocking on the door, calling, etc, he could have cared less.  He told me I am the most important person right now.  To hear someone say that, help restore some confidence in medicine for me.  At the end of our appointment he told me that he was going on vacation next week so I would have Dr. H starting tomorrow because he had to prepare seminars but he told me he would be available by email or phone if I really needed him.  To know a doctor cares that much is reassuring.   He said he would talk with his colleague in depth about my case so that there is no confusion.  We also created a mantra: “I am Jamie. I am a pearl of a person. I am okay.  I am protected by the shell.” 

Swelling of the right ankle

 Then, I headed to one of the MANY infusion rooms where I received my very first ozone therapy.  Ozone is offered in the states which is big unfortunately it is finding the right doctor for you who will administer it.  Unfortunately they were unable to use my port for ozone treatment and they needed a big vein, so I sacrificed my right foot.  They emphasized the importance of the ozone treatment for lyme patients; they said I will be rotating between the oxygen IVs and ozone treatment having one daily.

Next we had lunch and had a little day break which does NOT happen at this clinic.  It constantly feels like you are running from appointment to appointment, literally running.  I met with the nutritionist (Dr. S) after lunch.  She had a few good ideas.  I can’t say I LOVED her.  She was very crunchy; I feel like I have become crunchy too out of desperation but she was over the top.  She suggested putting a warm, moist castor oil on my stomach on the liver with this awesome European heating pad called a warm water bottle for over 20 minutes to help the liver.  Additionally she advised trying stomach massages to help circulate digestion and she gave me a diagram to follow in steps to create the “right” stomach massage. She suggested rosemary essential oil (doterra or youngliving) under the tongue to elevate blood pressure.  After that she recommended potato juice 4 oz per day; she said it is easy to make all you have to do is put a potato in the juicer and then drink it.  It is very soothing for the gut.  She told me tomorrow she would bring me some to try and it would be at the front desk.  Then she advised trying fermented juices 2-3 times per day; my only problem with this is I hate bubbles so it is hard to get it down.  I have to tell myself food is thy medicine.  I haven’t had any fermented juices since being here BECAUSE I don’t like it.  This is tough shit.  Last but not least she suggest half a teaspoon of gras powder in my mouth, holding it for 1 minute to help my overall immune system.  She wanted me to try it in her office, but my stomach was already disturbed and we still had more appointments.  She didn’t want to add anything else because of how sensitive I am.  Fun fact: rose quartz protexts you against EMF. 

Then I headed to the magnetic field room again.  I did 20 minutes with the magnetic ring around my liver.  It was agonizing to lay there with my thoughts for 20 minutes.  I kept thinking very red thoughts that were graphic and I couldn’t make them stop.  No one was in the room with me.

After that mentally exhausting experience of getting myself worked up in the magnetic field room I was able to have my lymphatic drainage massage from earlier in the day.  They do lymphatic drainage massages very differently here.  They do not use any oils or lotions and it is a rigorous massage to get the lymph moving.  He told me to leave my bra and underwear on during the massage.  I thought it was odd that he wanted me to keep my bra on, but I guess because this massage was for medical reasons vs. going to a spa.  That was my only thought process I could think of.  The massage was a great way to end the day; however I could feel my body so toxic after.  The lymph or fluid or something was pulling down my legs, swelling my ankles, which is a new thing for me.  So whatever he did must have triggered some immune system reaction.  My right leg was worse than my left leg.

I finished at an awkward time so Mom and I took a taxi home instead of waiting for the shuttle.  I was thankful I didn’t have to wait after a long day to go home.  As soon as we got home, we turned on the sauna then went to get dressed into bathing suits.  We stayed in the sauna 20 minutes at 120 degrees, very therapeutic.  I was pouring sweat, so was Mom.  After the sauna we showered and headed to dinner.  Unfortunately the Parsnip soup and asparagus tartar Irene made was very thick in nature and the taste was HORRIBLE, unbearable.  There was no way I was going to tolerate it so we had to request for her to make Dr. Rau’s detox broth.  For asking Irene to make the soup for me, it cost $42.00 Swiss franks.  I wish I had made it into the dining room before the kitchen staff POURED out the day’s worth of Dr. Rau’s soup that sits out all day.  But you live and you learn; now I know they throw the soup out at 5:30 each day.  I ate 3 bowls of the broth and put some olive oil in it, per recommendations from a friend.  She said I needed some fat in the meal and thought it would be a good idea to try.

Little did I know how my stomach was going to react to the olive oil.  I had significant stomach distress all night.  I felt like I slept in the bathroom; I had several hours of gas and straight diarrhea.  My stomach was cramping.  I dozed off for two hours and then was wide-awake again.  The hotel does not have Internet at night so it is not like I am on the internet doing “research”.   All through out the night I was disturbing Mom so it is not like she got any sleep either.  I would get up, get hot water, go to the bathroom, and move around in discomfort on my bed, you get the picture.  With that being said at 5AM Mom had the brilliant idea to get some fresh air so we got out of bed and physically went on a walk.  We walked for about 30 minutes and then that was the start of my day.  I could not go back to sleep.  Thursday morning I hadn’t felt that emotionally unstable since February of 2011 when my disease started truly spiraling.  I had very violent thoughts.  I was angry, anxious, and had suicidal ideation.  I know you have to go through hell to get to heaven as they say, but I was not having it.  I immediately called Dad, was pacing outside the bread and breakfast, telling him I was going to kill Mom or myself so he needed to pick who he loved more.  I was completely irrational, a true basket case.  I love Mom dearly but I said very hurtful things and did not allow her to come to the clinic with me because “I didn’t want her to hinder my healing and she obviously was.”  I did not think I could continue the program and I wanted to go home.  I struggled with whether or not to include my mood details, but I think it is an important topic that needs more awareness.  Many people don’t understand how lyme, coinfections, metal toxicity, viruses, and parasites affect your mood.  Every day that I am here I learn more and more.

“You have seen your own strength. You have seen your own beauty. You have seen your golden wings.  Why do you worry?”