Medical Update
I was told by my LLMD to take the Amoxicillin and the
antibiotic eardrops even though it was supposed to be my week off of
antibiotics! I understand where
they are coming from, but I so desperately was looking forward to that week off
of antibiotics where my body could just detox, detox, detox. I almost think when I go to the drs on
Monday that I will end up getting a week off because my body is still not
fighting off infections and was not able to get a week off.
My biggest fear in going to the doctors next week is the
doctor telling me that I am not strong enough to go to school next
semester. I need school like a
newborn baby needs its own mom’s breast milk. Even if I take a reduced reduced reduced load I have to
go. What would I do at home,
especially with my sister gone? It
would be devastating to me.
In addition, I went to my GP in Harrisonburg and asked for
an MRI because I think I have a pinched nerve or maybe a disc out of place,
whatever it is, I know something is off.
He was out of town so I had to have a substitute doctor that did not
understand my level of pain or my situation with Lyme disease; he quickly began
questioning my medication and sent me for a X-ray, which is only going to cost
me more money because I know in the long run I am going to have to have a MRI
done eventually. The X- ray showed
moderate scoliosis that would require physical therapy, but I am not convinced
because I would have had that for sometime now and I know something has changed
recently, so I called and left a message for my GP to call me so that I can
speak to him personally about the situation. I need a MRI and even if I have to go to a spine specialist
first, who will then send me for a MRI that is fine, but I just want to know
who to go to! Just daily Lyme
struggles that I will conquer each and every day! :)
Weird Symptoms that I am not used to-->
*electrical shocks
*movement I truly cannot control
But, some exciting news I did finally finish my technology
requirements that I had been procrastinating for over a year and a half
now! I had a hold on my account
for registering for classes, that is the severity of the procrastination! I must say for as easy as I expected
them to be they were much more difficult, but I feel a sense of relief now that
I am done! It took two days for this
task to be completed and it was only 3 testsà
Microsoft, PowerPoint and Excel.
My biggest struggle was Excel, but I conquered it today! I do not give up, no matter what area
of my life it is.
In addition, I talked to someone in disability services and
also got forms today for signing up for learning accommodations for the fall if
I am able to come back for the fall so that my doctor can fill them out on
Monday. The only one that I am
interested in is extra time on tests because I mentally cannot process
information as fast as I used to be able to especially with Neurontin,
Zonegran, Topamax, and all the antibiotics such as CoArtem. It slows me down without a doubt. I hate to admit it. At first I felt like a failure going in
and asking for these forms, I never wanted to be that kid, but I do have a
disease with 2 maybe more coinfections that are in my central nervous
system. This is not an excuse,
this is me coming to terms with the reality of my situation which I was proud
of myself for being able to accept who I am. Sometimes we forget how hard that is.
HUGE NEWS THOUGH!
My really good friend Kelsey who is 22 and married to her high school
sweetheart Tyler who changes my dressing finally bought land to build a
house!!!! I could not be happier for two amazing people. They were renting a house on land, but
they were ready for the next chapter of their life and that was looking for an
acre or acre and a half of land to build a house on and begin to raise a family
in a few years in that house! The
last few pieces of land they were looking at were around an acre of land for
$25,000-40,000 or more which was just not in their budget right not and all of
the sudden last night she called me and their luck turned around. They found an acre and a half of land
near their family for less; it was God’s way of saying your luck is changing
Kelsey and Tyler. Your storm is
letting up and you will be seeing blue skies shortly, just be patient. I believe it for the two of them. It gives me hope.
Also, my roommate Jamie is designing me a tattoo that I have
wanted for over a year now but I am 100% set on it now and I want her to design
it. There is no one else I would
ask to design it or ever envision designing it. That is the thing about Jamie, she sees things with
different eyes than the rest of the world and that is what I admire about
her. She doesn’t follow the path
that everyone else does; she creates her own path and that is where she gets
her originality. The tattoo she
was working on last night resonated with me; it included everything that symbolized
what I had gone through or meant something to me and yet, it was done in
elegance. I am not going to leak a
picture until it is completely finished and I have the symbol on my body
providing strength and inspiration from that day forward until the rest of my
life. The nice thing about this
tattoo nobody will ever have to see it and it is for me, not anybody else, I
will never have to explain it or justify to anyone else. All that matters is what it means to me
and damn, it has quite a meaning for the journey that I have been through and am
going through.
I dare you to watch this youtube video and tell me what you
think… I watched this dance last night with my roommate and it really hit close to home probably
to close to home. I am crying as I
type this because some days I feel like Mackenzie and I feel like my family is
Paul doing everything they can to keep me alive and wont let go. I hate that where is the line tens of
thousands of thousands of dollars worth of treatment for someone whose body
shakes with the thought of giving up.
Of course as I type this the song The Funeral by the Band of Horses
comes up on my Pandora so now this is a sob fest.
Luckily my Lyme friends have a great help through this time
of deep depression. I had a three
way phone call with Laurie and Susan the other night and they told me this is a
normal feeling, but for how long and they told me keep calling and call anytime
no matter the time. Pain and
depression are a deadly combination.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sc24-W9oWDs --> the dance
“There are two types of pain in this in this world: pain
that hurts you & pain that changes you!”
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