Purpose For Being Alive

Although this week has been rough, I have been able to find immense joy in helping two women with their children; it has ensured me that I do have a purpose on this world.  I always seem to have the most outlandish encounters in Starbucks., but I am thankful for each and every one of them because they have taught me some type of lesson.  The saying goes that every person you meet is either a blessing or a lesson and these two interactions were most definitely blessings that came at exactly the right time in my life.

The first encounter came on Thursday, while I was talking to my friend Dan, who is a regular at Starbucks, and I was explaining to him my housing problems for next year and my current health status.  I sat down next to him in a nice comfy chair, where there happen to be two other comfy chairs in the vicinity and one was occupied.  As I continued to talk I kept an eye on the time because I was meeting with a professor about research in 40 minutes, the woman, who was occupying one of the comfy chairs jumps in the conversation.  I learn she is from Blacksburg and is just stopping on her way to Northern Virginia because her daughter is in labor, if my daughter was in labor I would be in a bit of a rush but she says its been a slow process so she isn’t too worried.  She said she was going to be the grandmother, who visited a few times a year and bought lots of presents with her because she still had kids at home. 

As the conversation developed I talked a little about Lyme disease and she talked about how her son had Lyme when he was younger and he is currently 17 and just such a problem child.  I asked her if he had ever tested for coinfections and how long he was treated for Lyme, etc.  She said he was treated for a pretty long time and that he did test positive for Babesia.  Babesia is the hardest to treat and requires a LLMD that really know what they are doing to eradicate the bug because it does resemble malaria.  I start asking her some basic questions about his behavior and then I asked if he had muscle pain, headaches and a few other questions.  She said he is very angry, doctors want to diagnose him as ODD, he wets the bed now, he complains of headaches frequently, his knees hurt, and his back hurts!  I looked her in the eye and said “ma’am your son has Lyme and Babesia still”.  It hasn’t gone away and she said, do you really think so because my husband said the same thing I just didn’t believe it. 

At this point I really had to go but I wrote down all of my information and told her to contact me.  The first thing she said was would you be willing to meet on a Sunday with my son and I to talk to him about all of this because I wouldn’t even know how to explain it.  I told her I would meet with you any day of the week because I am so passionate about helping fellow Lymies seek treatment and know they are not alone.  She said he feels alone with symptoms such as anger and bed-wetting.  She was amazed.  I left feeling empowered and left feeling like I had made a difference in someone else’s life, which is exactly what I want to do with my life and why I want to be a Counselor.

The second encounter was one of those encounters that I have to believe was meant to be.  I had originally planned to do my homework that morning in the library, but to my astonishment when I arrived, I found out that the library is actually closed on Saturdays.  Naturally, I headed to Starbucks to get my work done and I was seated at a small table for two, when after thirty minutes a mother, her daughter, and a guidance counselor sit down next to me and begin talking.  I had headphones in so I could concentrate on my homework, but I could not tear myself away from the story that I was overhearing next to me because I knew the story all to well.  The story that I was hearing resembled numerous bits and pieces of stories that I had experienced in high school. 

The overall summary of the story was that the girl’s mother had read her texts and found out that she had smoked marijuana at a friend’s house.  The friend’s house, where the girl had smoked, was a very unhealthy living environment for the girl and while they were smoking the girls younger siblings were around because there is almost no supervision.  Of course there is more to the story that I did overhear but those are the main points.  The girl, who was sitting in Starbucks, was terrified.  Terrified she was caught, terrified to be talking about her friend’s situation, terrified of the punishment she was facing, and terrified her friends were going to hate her for telling on them.  She was crying and the counselor said do you want to help your friend or not.  The girl did say she wanted to help her friend. 

After lots of tears, talking about moving forward, and talking about the story in general, they began to get up from the table, and I ask if I could talk to the young girl.  The mother and counselor said go ahead!  I was shocked they said that because I was a stranger, but I told her everyone makes mistakes and now at this point it is how you move forward.  I told her I had very similar experiences like my mom reading my texts and getting caught doing things I knew I was not supposed to be doing, before but I was going to be a senior in the fall; those mistakes never held me back.  Those mistakes do not define who she is by any means.  As she sat speechless, tears just started to flow down her face.  I told her it was going to be okay and know matter how terrible it feels now it does get better!  She said thank you and I could tell I helped her.  I said good-bye to her and was sitting with a smile on my face continuing to type up a reading guide for my psychology class. 

Then ten minutes later, her mother walked in and with her eyes swollen with tears and said whatever you said to my daughter I cannot thank you enough.  She walked out of here and just cried, but I think you got through to her.  She said you had been through similar thinks and that you made it to the other side.  The mother asked me if I thought her daughter was going to be okay and I said yes, I do, no doubt in my mind.  She needed this to change; our mistakes do not define us.  I think the mother also needed this as a learning experience; I gave her my information to give to her daughter for someone to confide in and talk to anytime she needed it.  The mother gave me her business card because she was that unbelievably grateful.  All I did was console her daughter, which once again is exactly what I want to do with my life.  

It’s interactions like these that remind me that I do have a purpose for being alive when I think that there is no end in sight.  I have to keep remembering these interactions when I feel as though I am only alive to suffer. 

“At the end of the day, you can focus on what’s tearing you apart, or what’s holding you together.”