A friendly reminder

When it seems like all you do is conquer challenge after challenge with no break, it is important to remember where you started. Right now I'm experiencing a relapse- all of my original symptoms are coming back and with a vengeance that is. I went to the doctors yesterday and trust the plan I was given, but it is still hard to accept. I'm going to focus on minimizing the pain without antibiotics then I'm going to do a few rounds of Iv antibiotics. Hopefully just clindamycin and azithromycin; I seemed to do the best on those two. This quote has been getting me through these past few weeks.

Hoping for Baby

Take the te to read!  Such a positive story. It's so inspiring to know two people affected by chronic illness have chosen adoption. I couldn't imagine a more perfect couple to adopt. If you could please share along this post any help no matter how small helps. Any big helps: here is story. 2 truly amazing people who have helped me during my journey. 💜

http://www.you caring.com/tyler-kelsey-burgoyne-387334

Another Day Another Dollar

     It's funny how day to say it feels like nothing has changed, but when I compare different years I feel like everything has changed. 2 summers ago I was on Iv antibiotics thinking I was going to die. Now I am able to work, contribute to my expenses, and be present in the moment. That is a huge improvement! Don't get me wrong I still have a ways to go but I am heading in the right direction. It is easy to get discouraged with this disease, so any progress in the right direction is something to celebrate.

     These past few months, I have been working a LOT.  I nanny Monday-Thursday from 8-4pm then work at a boy's group home on Saturday and Sundays from 9-5pm and sometimes 5-10pm during the week if needed.  By Thursday evening I am exhausted to the point of tears but I have to work to save money for grad school. One huge benefit to working at the boy's home is now I can bring Kona with me to work. 

The little boy I nanny-Morgan

      Kona sleeping on the job.

     I survived my birthday on May 31st.  It was the most depressed I had been in awhile.  I wanted to die.  I was manic in the evening.  I was obsessively cleaning, when the family I nannyed for called to wish me a happy birthday, I don't know what I would have done if they had not called.  Never forget to tell the people that are important to you that you care about them because you never know what they are going through and just how much it will mean to them.  I needed to hear that more than anything.  I had to take Xanax and vape, in order to turn down my racing thoughts.  The very next day I was driving home to Maryland when I totalled my car.  It was pouring down rain and I hydroplanned into 2 guard rails.  I couldn't help but feel guilty like as if I was trying to kill myself.  When I wrecked, my car was in the middle of the road.  A man named Nicholas pulled over and calmed me down.  He got in the car with me and walked me through exactly what I needed to do.  He called 911 for me.  The ambulance took me to the hospital where they did a CT scan.  I had to wait for the results of the CT scan before they could take care of my pain.  They were checking for bleeding in my brain.  Luckily there was no bleeding in my brain and I was able to get pain meds.  I was literally screaming out in pain. 

      My car after the accident. 

     Luckily I was seeing my neurologist the very next day.  He was able to give me toradol mixed with lidocaine injections in my neck and head.  The shots on my right side caused me to scream out in pain.  However the shots were totally worth it.  He also gave me a shot in my sciatic joint to help with my new sciatic pain.  My left leg is shorter than my right which caused the sciatic for me.  He also prescribed Rizatriptan for migraines.  It works by narrowing dilated blood vessels in the brain, relieving migraines.  It has actually really helped me.  Furthermore he prescribed me Pristiq for my worsening depression.  Most antidepressants have not worked for me.  I have had positive experiences with Wellbutrin and Effexor, but I can't be on Wellbutrin with adderall and Effexor takes awhile to build up in your system.  That is how I decided to try Pristiq, apparently it is similar to Effexor.  I had been benefiting from Pristiq but I just learned that it contains gluten.  Now I am faced with a decision; either take the Pristiq and deal with the gluten issues or be psycho depressed!  I also underwent an extensive virus testing.  I am igg positive for EBV, Chlamydia pneumoniae, HSV 1+2, CMV, and HH-6.  I think it is safe to say it is time for an antiviral!  Most of Dr. J's patients have done antivirals while on IV but for some reason I skated by and never did it.
     I have been very diligent with being paleo for the past 9 days.  Absolutely no cheating.  I also started taking Calm Magnesium at night before bed.  I thought this would be another scam I read about in one of the hundreds of Lyme groups that  I am apart of.  But I was wrong I am not near as achy and I am sleeping deeper.  I was getting tired of taking multiple giant magnesium pills.  Additionally I changed my thyroid medication to a long lasting version of Cytomel.  It is also a much higher dose than I was on previously.
     Furthermore I have been experiencing stabbing pain, that comes and goes in waves, in my abdominal region, so my doctor ordered an ultrasound of my pelvis and abdomen.  They found 2 kidney stones on my left side and a large cyst on my right ovary.  While these are just more problems to add to the list, I feel a sense of validation that there is something actually wrong with me.  I felt weak for having such severe pain that occasionally requires painkillers. I felt bad for the ultrasound technician because I know legally she can't "diagnose" me so I would ask a thousand questions like "if I had a cyst what would it look like?" then she would give me a lengthy description and I would look at the screen.  I learned that cysts would appear dark black on the screen and kidney stones would be bright white and have a shadow.  I am waiting patiently to see my doctor about what to do with these results.  I also have an appointment with a urologist coming up soon.  My doctor was also supportive of the use of cannabis oil as long as I was getting it from a safe source which I am!  He also recommended help oil since that is legal but I have read on various blogs that it isn't as effective.  The cannabis oil has done wonders for my sleep, so why fix something that isn't broken.  I finally am sleeping; I hadn't slept in years.
     I do feel like a hypocrite though.  My dream jobis to be an addictions therapist, yet I use cannabis oil for medicinal benefits.  Couldn't everyone use the excuse that a certain drug helps them medicinally?  This is an internal debate that I am struggling with right now. 
     Additionally I have learned my grandma has ovarian cancer, stage 3B to be exact.  She will need 6 rounds of chemotherapy.  I joked with her that we could be port twins!  She didn't find that as amusing as I did.  Prayers are appreciated. My cousin has now been at his wilderness therapy camp for 4.5 weeks and is finally having a turn around!  It is easy to judge what we don't experience.  I and others found it easy to judge my cousin's moms parenting, but then when he was living with my parents I finally understood what his poor mother was going through and I give her a lot of credit. 
     As for the positives- My sister is home from Oman now.  She had a great trip but she is happy to be home too.  We are all going to the beach for a few days next week!  This hasn't happened in years so needless to say we are all counting down the days.  Another positive was I got to go to Luke Bryan with a good friend, Ainsley.  I had a great night that was much needed.  

          At the Luke Bryan concert

     And one of my best friends is home from California, which lines up with my week off of work!  Talk about fate!  Additionally, I have graduated from pole 2 and am headed to pole 3.  There is something about pole dancing that is so free of judgement.  It is all girls and the instructor is great!  She has created a safe, non judgmental atmosphere.  I hope to continue pole dancing in Baltimore, something about it is therapeutic. 

          My graduation day from pole 1

     As if I didn't have enough on my plate, I attempted to foster a dog for a woman who was not fit to be a foster mom. His name was Bumper and I had him for almost 2 weeks, but he would not stop peeling in the house so I couldn't keep him. Speaking of judging a book by its cover, I judged Bumper when I saw him, thinking he was going to be vicious because he was half pit. I couldn't have been more wrong. He was the sweetest, most loving dog. I hope he goes to a good home. 

       Bumper
     I am preparing to move out of my townhouse in Harrisonburg on Saturday.  It is a sad reality that I am leaving Harrisonburg for good.  It has been my home for the past 4 years and I have grown immensely in this town.  The good news is I found a row house in Baltimore for the upcoming school year.  My roommate will be a first year medical school student.  I am glad we are in different departments so we won't always be together.
I feel like the summer is flying by, how can it already be mid July?!

"There will be many chapters in your life. Don't get lost in the one you are in now."

My partner in lyme

Have you ever heard the Sex and the City quote, “Maybe our girlfriends are our soul mates & guys are just people to have fun with,”?  A year ago I would have laughed at this quote, not because I didn’t have great, supportive friends, but I always assumed I would have a serious, steady boyfriend by now.  Since becoming friends with “my shadow,” my thoughts have changed on this quote.  When I first met my shadow I saw someone who was not looking for new friends especially ones with as many problems as me.  Granted we met right after I had my PICC line yanked for the last time due to a blood infection and I was over this illness.  I was tired of trying to be positive. 

At that time my shadow needed intravenous treatment immediately due to the severity of the illness in her central nervous system.  Why would she want to be put on IV after hearing my horror stories and my negativity towards IV treatment?  It took me a little while to realize I need her.  She is my person.  Although I have met an amazing group of friends who also have Lyme disease, it is hard being the youngest in the group.  Every other one of my friends is married and has children, they have lived important chapters without Lyme disease debilitating their life and quite frankly sometimes I was jealous.  I hate to even admit that but it is the truth.  I always wonder will I be able to experience the important chapters of my life even while battling this disease.  I do eventually want to get married, have kids, and work full time. 

My shadow gets it.  She gets the disease.  She gets the same fears about the future as I do.  She gets random unbearable aches and pains just like I do.  She has been through hell and back just like me.  She has experienced the severe feelings of depression and anxiety, which no one else could even begin to relate to.  After getting a PICC line over the summer, she encountered blood clots and didn’t give up just like me.  She is a warrior.  She is someone that appreciates the little things such as a new nail polish color or ordering essential oils online and anxiously awaiting their arrival.  She is willing to drop whatever she is doing to help me if I am in need and I would/have done the same for her.  She even has a dog, just like me.  She knows what it is like to do several IVs a day and try to be a college student.  The even weirder part is we were both diagnosed with Lyme disease at the same place even though we live over an hour from each other. 

I can’t imagine living an hour and a half from her starting in the fall.  But I have come to accept that it was fate, her entering my life that is.  Someone was looking out for the two of us that day we were introduced.  She is someone that gets what I am going through, she doesn’t have to try to understand like everyone else because she experiences the same thing on a day in and day out basis.  I look at her and feel like I am looking at a mirror and seeing my reflection.  Maybe the silver lining in having Lyme disease is I found my person, my soul mate, my partner in lyme. 

Thank you for being my partner in Lyme.

"We don't met people by accident.  They are meant to cross our path for a reason."

Game Changer

I can’t believe it is already May.  I feel like with every passing month, the year is going by faster and faster.  It is not a bad thing, more so a comment as I am growing more and more excited for grad school in the fall.  I made my schedule last week and I think I was able to get classes at very decent times.  The down side to the classes I chose is that they are only once a week, so that means they are 3 hours long!  I have no classes on Tuesdays/Thursdays, which I purposefully planned so I could do my practicum on those days.

On a different note a few weeks ago, on a Tuesday evening as I was driving back to Baltimore, I broke my key while at a gas station.  The key literally broke in half inside the keyhole for the trunk.  I did not even know a key was capable of this.  The funny part is, is that I went to open the trunk just to put yoga pants on and I could have the trunk from inside the car.  I was stuck at a gas station for an hour and a half until my Dad and cousin showed up. 

The next day I had a minor procedure done at Johns Hopkins.  I was thinking I was going to be asleep for this procedure, but they put in “twilight” mode.  So I was conscious but really just high on pain medication.  Whatever it was, it did the trick.  With that being said, the doctor did not prescribe pain medication for at home.  He said in these cases it is not necessary, however I differed on his philosophy.  Luckily, I had some pain meds at home that I could take.                                      

  Driving to Hopkins                                                         Anxiously waiting at Hopkins- pre procedure

The biggest change over the last few weeks has been with my sleep.  I see an improvement.  I am finally getting the deep sleep I’ve been waiting for.  I think that is due to a combination of the essential oils (valor), parasite cleanse, and implementing cannabis oil.  I never in a million years thought I would be advocating for cannabis oil to be legal for medical reasons, but I tell you it has been a game changer.  If you aren’t sleeping, your body can’t heal.  When starting out, you only need a rice-sized amount under your tongue to be absorbed by the membranes in your mouth. 

Additionally, I have had an increase in migraines these past few weeks, which I am not sure what attributed to them.  One migraine was so bad I thought I was going to have to go to the hospital.  Speaking of the hospital, I had to go Monday night due to such severe back pain.  I had never ever had pain of this magnitude before.  Nothing would help the back pain. 2 vicodin did nothing.  I sat in the ER for 3 hours for them to tell me there was nothing they could do for me, except pain management and a steroid.  Is that a joke?!  They didn’t start an iv, take any images, or even really examine me.  My lower back by my tailbone on the right side was in excruciating pain.  There wasn’t even a position that was comfortable.  The ER said to make an appointment with an orthopedic to examine it.  I left the hospital and had a full-blown break down.  I just hysterically sobbed.  I felt hopeless and helpless.  I am always such a mystery for doctors.  I have to remember its 3 steps forward 2 steps backward, which is the nature of this disease. 

In the midst of all of this new pain, I started lauricidin, which my sister’s doctor recommended for her.  I believe it is supposed to help with viruses.  It is just something else to add to the list!  When you take as much as I do, it is hard to say what is actually helping and what you are wasting your time with.  I had re-evaluated the list of supplements I was taking a few months ago, but somehow now my list has grown again!  Another weird thing that has been happening to me is excessive hair loss!  Everytime I take a shower, clumps of hair falls out.  I have enough to spare, I just don't think it is normal to be losing that much hair.  I went to an endocrinologist yesterday and was diagnosed with Hashimoto's which explains why I gain weight then lose weight then gain weight then lose weight so quickly.  I have been in a cycle for about 4 years now of my weight yo-yoing.  She upped my thyroid medication since my thyroid is leaning towards the hypothyroidism end of the scale right now.  That is not to say in a few months it won't go back to the hyperthyroidism side.  She also said my thyroid felt prominent and firm.  She said the firm part was probably due to scar tissue.

Furthermore, in the last few weeks I celebrated Cinco De Mayo with a friend.  Who isn’t happy when they are taking tequila shots?  I also had some friends graduate which I was excited to be apart of their big day.  It was exciting to see my friends graduate with their Masters, however it is also more of a reality check that I am an adult.  Sometimes I forget that I am 22 about to be 23 in a few weeks.  Everyone in my life is growing up and preparing for the next chapter of life.  Most of my friends are in different cities, doing different careers; sometimes it can be hard to relate to them now.  Just like I am sure it is hard for them to relate to me now.  22 is such an awkward age, filled with lots of transitions. 

Cinco De Mayo

Graduating with her Masters

This weekend I have the Loudon 5k for Lyme disease to look forward to.  I am going with my best friend who lives in Northern Virginia and meeting other good friends there. 

“I am learning to trust this journey even when I do not understand it.”

Stepping out of the Ordinary

Over the past few months I have learned that it only takes one day to make changes that could last a lifetime.  I completed 40 days eating the autoimmune paleo protocol, I had noticed an improvement in sleep and I was even able to come off of two neurotropic medications.  Then as soon as I stopped following the protocol on Valentine’s Day due to an unexpected chain of events, I began to gain weight rapidly!  I became addicted to sugar all over again, I began drinking Reese’s hot chocolate from Sheetz and not just on a once a week basis.  I was drinking this specialty drink and eating cookies from Sheetz regularly.  During this time of going off of the protocol, I would experience hives on a somewhat regular basis.  The hives would be all over my body and would cause an increase in heart rate.  I could never attribute this reaction to anything, no new deodorant, shampoo, laundry detergent, etc.  I hadn’t even changed my medications recently when the hives had first started. 

Here are examples of the hives that take over my body and the weirdest part about them is they burn!

 

Long story short I ended up going to an allergist finally because I was tired of these hives getting worse and worse.  After not really believing me, the allergist agreed to run a blood test for the 8 common allergens.  He said we would wait to get the results back and then we would do the skin test based on the results.  Within a few days, the nurse from his office called me to inform me I was allergic to wheat, eggs and peanuts.  She also told me I had an extremely high thyroid antibodies and high IgE levels (200 range).  I knew I was allergic to wheat; I had been able to recognize that pattern in my eating habits and how I felt afterwards.  However, I never ever would have guessed peanuts!!! I didn’t realize how serious peanut allergies are, you could go into anaphylaxis and here I am drinking Reese’s hot chocolates without any clue why I was getting hives.  I go back to the allergist next week to have the skin testing done for these foods as well as several others that I could be allergic to.  After talking to the allergist at the end of March I knew something had to change.  Luckily these food allergies forced me back into eating paleo.  I feel better when I eat paleo, but as soon as you break it once it is easy to keep breaking it and harder to get back on it. 

Okay, so eating paleo isn't all that bad!

                                           

The reason I fell off the auto immune paleo in the first place was due to a car accident on Valentine’s Day in the ice on the way to get ingredients to cook dinner with my Valentine.  We were only a mile from my house when we slid into another car.  No one was hurt, except for my Valentine’s car.  It needed a lot of work!  The guy we hit was extremely nice, he didn’t even take my Valentine’s information.  Needless to say after hitting a car, we didn’t continue the journey to the grocery store we headed home immediately.  Unfortunately, we had to order take out instead of cooking dinner together.  It wasn’t the end of the world because I love Japanese food, but it took over two hours to get there and I broke my protocol.  I didn’t think much of it until I could not stop eating carbs and sugar.  I kept using the excuse I will start back again tomorrow, but in actuality I wouldn’t because I would rationalize eating something else that wasn’t paleo compliant.  So having these allergies are both a blessing and a curse.  I need to take care of myself and if that means eating healthy then that is what I need to do.

I have also stepped out of the ordinary protocol for lyme disease and started looking at alternative healing therapies.  Antibiotics are just too harsh on my body right now.  I felt like every time I went to swallow a handful of pills that I was no longer killing an infection, but killing me.  I do still take some antibiotics, but it is minimal compared to the fall!  I am also going to an acupuncturist and taking herbs that he had recommended.  I do see some benefit with the acupuncture; I think it is helping with my anxiety and mood overall.  The herbs he recommended for me right now are the spirit pearls and the bamboo pearls.  The spirit pearls work on mood regulation and becoming at peace with your heart; also helps sleep.  Then the bamboo pearls focuses on pain/inflammation within the body.  The acupuncturist also performs cupping on me, which entails lighting a match under a glass cup and creating suction on your back.  He then moves the cups around every minute or so to increase circulation. 

 The after math of cupping!

Additionally, I am hopping back on the essential oils train!  I feel like a lunatic with all of these different protocols but at the same time if it helps me, then it is 100% worth it in the end.  I recently started using copaiba oil for inflammation, valor and vetiver for sleep/anxiety, and lemon for digestion.  I just started so I don’t really have any major updates yet! 

Furthermore, I started drinking camel’s milk.  Yes, you read that right, milk from a camel.  You can’t judge it until you’ve been so desperate you are willing to try anything.  There is a lot of research from a Dr. Hinkle delving into the benefits of camel’s milk in humans.  Camel’s milk contains GcMAF, which is a D-binding protein that plays a vital function in our immune systems.  Viruses, bacteria, and cancer cells release an enzyme called nagalase that affects our GcMAF levels.  Previously, the only way to increase GcMAF levels was through expensive injections, but now camel’s milk has shown to increase the levels.  What’s even more interesting about camel’s milk is that if a person is allergic to milk, they are not usually allergic to camel’s milk.  In fact, camel’s milk can actually help a person heal from allergies.  Dr. Hinkle is currently working with 8 universities in the United States on research projects with camel’s milk.  Additionally, the milk has been proven to help raise immunoglobin levels, this is crucial for individuals suffering from immune disorders.  Currently this milk is only available at a limited number of farms within the United States, which is the issue.  You can’t just pick it up at the grocery store UNLESS you live in California where it is some times sold in Whole Foods.  When you buy the camel’s milk you also have to pay for shipping, when you add the two together the price seems a bit outrageous.  But once again, people will do anything when they are desperate.  If you haven’t read much about camel’s milk I recommend you do so!

I just had my appointment with my LLMD last week and I was very pleased with my appointment.  For the first time I felt as though, my P.A. was listening to me and attempting to understand what I was feeling.  I explained I was way too toxic and needed to ease up on the antibiotics for a little while.  I also advocated for more detox methods.  My prayers were answered when I saw the antibiotic protocol crafted from my LLMD, granted there is still a lot of Rifabutin and Minocycline but I know that is only to make sure the Chlamydia Pneamoniae is dormant.  Also, I was prescribed Cholestyramine to help bind the toxins in my body and help eliminate them!  Then, I was told about an oral glutathione that apparently works wonders for the body.  I did glutathione intravenously on my off weeks while I had my PICC still in, so I was relieved to hear there was an oral form that was effective.  My LLMD recommended oil of oregano capsules and grapefruit seed extract capsules to help fight this never-ending battle with Candida!  Hopefully I see progress with the changes we have made at this appointment.

As far as exciting things that have occurred recently in my life, I got into both graduate schools I applied to for my Masters.  I accepted a spot for the Fall 2015 at University of Maryland Baltimore.  I am beyond thrilled to start this new chapter of my life and end the one in Harrisonburg, while at the same time nothing scares me more.   Harrisonburg has been home for 4 years.  I am comfortable here which is how I know I need to move on.  I think a lot of the nervousness comes from realizing I am going to have to work harder at keeping my friendships because my friends will no longer be close to me.  I have unexpectedly been reconnecting with friends from the past in the last few weeks and hope to continue to work on my relationships as I prepare to move.  Another part of moving is realizing I will no longer be close to “my shadow”.  Right now she lives 3 miles from me and I see her multiple times a week, but when I move she will be an hour and a half away.  Our friendship has been one of the most positive, consistent things in my life in the past 6 months. 

Another major change since my last post is my parents have now taken temporary legal guardianship of my cousin who is 12.  This is extremely admirable of them to do.  However, they don’t have experience raising a boy especially one that needs extra attention.  The reason I included him in this blog entry is because he was just bit by a tick and developed a rash a few days later.  Lyme is everywhere.  Antibiotics are crucial in the first few weeks of the infection. 

The last weekend in March my Mom and I crafted a surprise for both my sister, who was running a ½ marathon and my Dad who was turning 50.  We road tripped to South Bend, Indiana to surprise and support my sister.  My Dad had no idea until I met my parents in Hagerstown.  My Mom went as far as to blindfold my Dad the last 20 minutes so he would be completely caught off guard.  He thought he and my Mom were going away for a romantic weekend, but all he wanted was to spend the weekend with the whole family together.  His wish was granted.

Here is my sister in front of the Dome at Notre Dame after she completed her 1/2 marathon!

Dinner in South Bend in honor of my Dad's 50th!

Since my trip to South Bend, I have been working quite a bit and am taking a medication certification class in Richmond for my job.  If all goes well, I will be certified by the end of the month.  On the horizon, I have another appointment with the allergist, an appointment with an endocrinologist for my thyroid and acupuncture to help my system overall!  I will keep everyone updated on the outcomes.

“We are born in one day. We die in one day. We can change in one day. And we can fall in love in one day. Anything can happen in just one day.”

Creating a "healthy" routine

Since the start of the New Year, my primary focus has been my self and my health.  In the chaos of trying to graduate and worry about others, I have forgotten what it is like to develop a healthy, “normal” routine.  I put normal in quotations because my normal isn’t normal for a 22-year-old college graduate.  I have come to realize there are far more important things than trying to compete with my peers.  If I put in the time now, there is hope for a brighter and better future for myself and I recognize that.

So what does this health look like?  Well first of all I started following the autoimmune paleo protocol, which means I eat all organic, all grass fed meat, no nightshades, no beans, no legumes, minimal fruit, and not much sugar at all.  My hope is that I can repair my gut through this diet and get my yeast situation under control.  Due to the years of antibiotics my gut has lost a lot of the healthy bacteria and unfortunately has grown a lot of the unhealthy bacteria, even while taking probiotics! 

What truly motivated me to take this plunge was the amount of sugar I was consuming towards the end of 2014!  I was consuming massive amounts of chocolate a day.  I felt that chocolate was a reward for everything I did and that I deserved a piece of this or that, or a jar of frosting, or a box of brownie mix.  It was absurd and out of control.  The only way I was going to be able to grasp control of the situation was through a detox that was going to nourish my body fully, which is what this lifestyle does.  I also needed to make sure that when I began this new lifestyle change I would be supporting other areas of my life, therefore preventing emotional eating or loss of appetite or whatever it may be.  Additionally, a driving force to start on January 7^th was my sister was starting advocore and I wanted to start something on the same day so we could motivate each other if we felt tempted.  I must admit I have not felt the slightest tempted while eating AIP friendly foods. 

Granted I am not a food blogger but I thought I would include some of the meals I have been preparing for myself so enjoy!

Lamb stirfry with coconut oil

Goat burgers with oregano, garlic, onion, and salt

Bone Broth with veggies :)

Salmon with avocado on a bed of lettuce

Furthermore, I have begun exercising again and that is when I feel alive.  I used to be a competitive swimmer, swimming almost every day of the week so when I go weeks on end without any source of physical activity I begin to lose my mind!  The past two weeks I have been attending yoga and barre classes which have challenging me both physically and mentally.  I think it is important, no matter what stage of what illness you are fighting, to move your body.  If you are on the ground, crawl.  That is how much I believe in the power of movement.  Day by day you will see the power it has on your spirit.

Also I am only working part time right now while I get all of my ducks in a row.  One positive to this job is it’s a job in my field.  So everyday that I do work, I am constantly learning and I think these kids are going to teach me more about life than I could ever learn in a classroom.  While I am disappointed in myself that I don’t have a full time job right now, I am happy with where I am.  I am acknowledging how far I have come and how far I have to go.  I am applying to graduate schools right now too.  I have submitted one application, thus far for a Master’s in Social Work and am working on my second application as we speak.

In addition, I am increasing my probiotics and beginning to take a few different ones.   I am going to start taking Prescript Assist (a probiotic) in addition to an enzyme to help bind the probiotic to my gut.  I am going to do a cleanse because that is still an issue even while eating paleo!  The name of the supplement that I am going to take for the candida is called Candistatin by PhysioLogics; I currently have a friend taking the supplement recommended to her by her naturopath doctor.  She is seeing results so I thought why not?  As far as health goes, I just started an antibiotic protocol on Monday because my LLMD still believes that my coinfections and Chlamydia pneumoniae are wrecking havoc on my body.  I had a fever two weeks ago and had to go to the hospital where the doctors said it was just a virus, which I agree with; I just fear my immune system crashing again after this past fall.  The antibiotics are already causing me to herx, nothing too bad yet, granted it has only been 4 days; but I do feel increased joint pain, chest pain, and it hurts to breathe.  So I am thinking it is my babesia causing me the most problems right now or my Chlamydia pneumoniae.

“It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard everyone would do it.  The hard is what makes it great.”