Challenge Accepted

I did it, challenge accepted.  I graduated college with an undergraduate degree in Psychology with a minor in Substance abuse prevention.  I can’t believe I did it even if it did take 4 and a half years.  I have accepted that everyone goes at their own pace and that is the beauty of life.  I honestly don’t know where to begin with how this past semester was for me, I guess I’ll start where I left off!

My family at graduation.

On the way to graduation.

My first day of kindergarten. It is crazy to think how much has occured in those 17 years. I don't think I would change any of it because the combination of experiences compiled togeter have created the strong woman I am today.

The gallbladder surgery went surprisingly well when I look back and think about it.  I didn’t have to spend the night in the hospital or anything.  The only problem I did have was waking up from the anesthesia, I was extremely nauseous and wanted to see my Mom but they said I had to walk before I was allowed to see her.  Eventually I stopped gagging from the anesthesia and moved from the hospital bed into a chair so that I could see my Mom.  When the doctor came in after the surgery to check on me he said my gallbladder definitely needed to come out.  It was very inflammed, that was reassuring to hear that I made the right decision in having it out.  The nurses also told me to use heat for my shoulders and to start walking as soon as possible to remove the air from my stomache.  Also, I started school ten days later so I really did not have much time to “relax”.  I needed to get up and get going.  My parents had my Aunt and Uncle’s wedding to attend the next day so my best friend came to babysit me since I was unable to be left alone.  Let’s just say I was grateful to have her stay with me!  She had to do everything for me… by everything I mean, walk me to the bathroom, cook me food, give me pain meds, and added bonus was she kept me laughing the whole time she was with me!  I must admit I am blessed when it comes to my family and friends.

When I went back to school, I was taking 16 credits including an internship at ASAP also known as Alcohol Safety Action Program.  I had to complete 150 hours during the semester.  In addition to the internship, I was taking biology, which for those that know me well know that I am not good at science, I was a teacher’s assistant for an undergraduate cognitive psychology course, and I continued my positive psychology research.  Needless to say I don’t think I know what it is like to not be busy.  I think I thrive on being busy and enjoy the high I get from always running around as if my head was chopped off.  When I sit still my head has time to actually process how my body feels and I lose it.  This is the reason I hate movies, hate watching TV, and any activity where I have to sit still or can’t multitask.

The semester started out great!  I was super busy, but I had a great roommate who helped with my puppy and cooked dinner for me most nights.  I loved living with just one other person vs. three other people; it was easier to communicate with one person and the townhouse was quiet which was great for my hyper sound sensitivity.  I had quite a few ear infections in September but I kept chugging along like I always do because I am a warrior.  The entire month of September I had been planning a substance abuse recovery panel with 4 panelists as a passport event for the freshman to attend as part of their health class.  I was the moderator for the event and it went very smoothly!  There was a high attendance rate of over 125 students and I think that the event increased students awareness for substance abuse in college. 

That night after I had finished the event successfully, my body gave out on me.  I spiked a very high fever and the next day went to the hospital.  They conducted 3 spinal taps because they missed the first two times and had to send me to radiology after the failed attempts.  The doctors said there was nothing wrong and everything was normal even with extremely elevated sed rate and WBC.  They discharged me with fever of unknown origin.  I even had a fever on the day of discharge, which seems kind of funny to me as to why they would discharge me if I still had a low grade fever of 99.8 at 1pm in the afternoon. 

Then for the next 3 weeks I suffered from fevers almost daily if I did not take Tylenol in addition to extreme body pain.  It hurt for someone to touch my body especially my back and legs.  I followed up with my primary care doctor in Harrisonburg and he said you have had every test done in the book what do you want me to do?  The nurse was laughing at me because I was crying in the office from the amount of pain I was in.  The doctor ended up doing a strep test because he said that was the only test I hadn’t had done yet and of course it was negative, leaving me more hopeless then ever.

That weekend I was going to visit my sister at Notre Dame to attend my first Notre Dame football game and to be her Naval ball date. Excited does not even justify the way I felt, leading up to this weekend.  I talked nonstop about going to Notre Dame, seeing my sister, and attending a football game.  I was even missing a day of school in order to have a tour of the field since my sister works for NBC.  Luckily my Dad, my Aunt, my Uncle and I all made it to South Bend, Indiana in time for the private tour on Friday given by my sister.  It was awesome!  Then I went to the Naval ball that night with my sister, but I felt my body beginning to fail on me.  I was fading in and out all evening and my sister could tell.  She offered to leave the entire night, but I didn’t want to.  The next day was the football game against UNC and it was much colder than I expected so we all headed to the mall to get sweatshirts so we wouldn’t freeze when we tailgated.  I was more achey than I had ever felt and my legs were failing me miserably.  I asked my Dad to feel my forehead as I leaned up against him for support.  I didn’t really need my Dad to verify that I was burning up, I knew it before he confirmed it.  He felt my forehead, grabbed my arms to hold me up, then looked into my eyes, and said you are not well, we need to get you to the hospital.  To this day I don’t know what would have happened if I had gone to the football game.  I sobbed the whole way to the hospital, I wanted to go to that football game more than anything and of course I was sick.  Once I had been seen by the doctor he ordered a chest X-ray, said it was clear, and wanted to run more tests but my Dad and I called my Lyme doctor’s office to talk to the doctor on call.  I did not want to be hospitalized in small town Indiana in a hospital that did not know much about lyme disease not to mention I was far from my Mom.  Luckily the Physician assistant on call called back very quickly and talked to the doctor who was seeing me.  The doctor was very receptive to everything she was saying; she thought it was a herx or an infection.  The doctor wrote me valium, Tylenol with hydrocodone, and ibuprofen 800mg; he wrote me a schedule for taking all of the medications based on the Physician assistant’s guidance. 

Just showing off on the Notre Dame football field!

My sister and I at the Naval Ball

I somehow survived another night in Indiana and a 10 hour drive back to Harrisonburg, Virginia because I thought I was going to magically get better and go back to class on Monday.  Boy, was I wrong.  My Mom had drive down and get me because I literally lost the ability to walk.  My roommate had to carry me down to the car from my room because my Mom wanted to take me to the hospital at home in Baltimore, Maryland.  I think that was the longest 3 hour drive of my life.  I felt as though I fading in and out of consciousness waiting to arrive at the hospital and I somehow made it to Greater Baltimore Medical Center.  On Monday, October 13^th 2014 I was admitted to the Intensive Care Unit  for being septic secondary to pneumonia.  In the ICU I was not given any pain meds, anxiety meds, or sleep meds due to my low blood pressure (69/49) and high fever.  Every time I would scream out in pain the nurse would tell me that if they give me medication it could kill me and she would ask me if I want to live.  I had to undergo another spinal tap, it was deemed tramatic because they claimed I moved.  I don’t know how they think that was possible when someone was literally holding me in a C-shaped position on my side.  The concerning part is there were RBC and proteins in the sample and it was “slightly bloody” in appearance and yet I was told that it was normal!!!  I didn’t find all of this out until I received the report after discharge.  What the doctors did find was a Mycoplasma infection in my right upper lobe and a Chlamydia Pneamoniae infection.  Double whammy.

My spirometer which to is used to prevent my lungs from collapsing. Not my most flattering photo.

I only spent one night in the ICU, but 5 days in the hospital in total.  Then I missed an additional week of school because I was so week!  As you can imagine, catching up from missing two and a half weeks of college is nearly impossible.  It is not the same as missing two and a half weeks of high school especially when you plan on graduating in December.  Most of my professors were understanding and allowed me to make up my work at my own pace as long as I finished my work by December 12^th since my graduation date was December 13^th.  However, there is always the one professor that has to be difficult and this time was no different then any other time.  He insisted everything get done on his time and on deadlines that at times seemed unrealistic, but I proved that they were realistic because I got the assignments done and made up the tests that I had missed.  I ended up with a B+ in his class for the semester and a 3.465 for the semester.  Not too shabby.

Most importantly though I am alive.  All too often, we take this simple gift for granted; we assume that it is a right to live until old age.  Losing my right to walk, my willpower to live at times, and going through unbareable pain has taught me to truly cherish every day.  A test is just a test, in five years will that test really matter; am I going to remember failing?  I have began making an effort to tell people how much they mean to me and how they impact my life because what if I never have the chance to again.  I am realizing how precious life is and how short it can be.  As strange as this may seem, this life changing incident has helped me lose some of my insecurities that I had about my life.  I am realizing I don’t have time to put up with unhappiness, fake friendships, or petty fights. 

My roommates from last year and I- tailgating homecoming weekend.

My Dad and I on top of Reddish Knob.  Feeling alive after nearly dying.

"Where there is a will, there is a way. Fight for what you believe in." I guess there was a reason I felt compelled to write this on the top of Reddish Knob with my Dad.  Never stop fighting, especially for what you believe in.  

“Whatever you want to do, do it.  There’s only so many tomorrows.”