21st Birthday!

Sorry it has been a few weeks since an update on my life, but things have been a bit chaotic!  Let me see what I can fill you in on!

I was at James Madison staying at my apartment trying to get back into a healthy routine since every time I am home I seem to get derailed and that is not healthy for anyoneà neither my family nor me.  James Madison during the summer is interesting it is a lot more relaxed and the students drink a lot more because for the most part students are only taking one class so it is a giant party.  I am taking a class right now but it is online and it is a 6-week class compared to a 4 week Maymester class.

I was in a great routine I was going to the library during the day to do class work, which I love doing; it helps to keep my mind distracted!  Then, I was walking outside almost every day except 2.  The air is fresher there then in Baltimore and there is always someone that is down to walk there.  I walked endless miles one day and became super dehydrated and had to do 2 lactated ringers because I was too wiped out.  My thighs were screaming and I was beyond lethargic.  It was 11:00 and I felt as though I couldn’t form sentences.  I told my cousin I felt bad but my brain was done for the day; it is times like those that I am embarrassed.  I was stuttering, confusing words, but my head couldn’t think.  How do I explain that to people?  I can’t even explain that to myself. 

I also got a call from my doctor’s office that my magnesium levels are concerningly low.  The doctor would like my magnesium levels to be around 5 and the previous level was 4.8, which was great, then they dropped to 2.2 and they wanted to know if I changed anything in my protocol which I hadn’t!  Anytime the doctor calls me I become paranoid I always want to know what caused the level to change, etc.  But, they said I needed to start on 1250 of magnesium malate twice a day asap, so I ordered it.  It is bazaar because I take a lot of magnesium citrate, but anyways it is what it is and I am switching! 

In addition, I switched my sleep medicine because I thought my other sleep medicine was causing me to gain weight and I was not having that.  I am very in tune to an increase appetite so I just had to stop it because I would become very depressed if I started to gain weight.  I switched from Remeron to Trazadone 50-100mg for sleep and it is a miracle the improvement in my sleep.  I have been sleeping 10.5/11 hours!  I love it and it is a deep sleep that my body needs, but the concern my parents and I have is that I was on this before and it lowered my blood pressure too much to the point that I would pass out and hit my head and have to go to the hospital because I would have a concussion.  So, as you can see this is a major concern, but at the same time I love sleeping and getting sleep, what a change this is!!!!

What a week it has been!  I saw my ex unexpectedly and I think it was a really good thing, but it just mixes my emotions.  We are friends, good friends.  He had to deposit a check in Harrisonburg and wanted to meet for coffee to catch up and we ended up talking for 2 and a half hours.  We came to the conclusion that we both seemed like we are doing so great.  I think it shocked him how well I was doing this summer, for the first time in awhile I am really focusing on my health and myself and it has been paying off.  Seeing him is always emotionally exhausting because we have so many good memories together and so many emotions come flooding back every time we see each other even though we have been broken up for 6 months.  But, I was glad we saw each other, really glad. 

I turned 21 and survived!  I am blessed, truly blessed for great friends.  My cousin made me the cutest birthday gift ever; I love her!  She made me two canvases with quotes on it, a picture frame with a picture of the two of us in it, a margarita glass in it, vodka gummi bears, a candle, all in a little basket!  One of the quotes on the canvases was, “I love unmade beds.  I love when people are drunk and crying and cannot be anything but honest in that moment.  I love the look in the eyes when they realize they’re in love.  I love the way people look when they first wake up and they’ve forgotten their surroundings.  I love when people close their eyes and drift to somewhere in the clouds.  I fall in love with people and their honest moment all the time.  I fall in love with their breakdowns and their smeared makeup and their daydreams.  Honesty is just too beautiful to ever put into words.”  That is me too a tee!  I love people and their breakdowns and their honesty; people are always breaking down with me and I love it.  I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

I debated drinking on my 21^st birthday for the past month; my doctor did not want me to, but on my doctor note home it said use good judgment not do not drink, so I drank!  I don’t think it was worth it, do you hear that Lymies, NOT WORTH IT!  My birthday is 24 hours long so I drank 2 nights in a row and definitely not worth it.  The first night was great I went to a bar and got a fishbowl margarita with some friends and even had 2 shots!  After, I streaked the quad at my college, which was a thrilling and memorable experience for my 21^st birthday!  That is something that has been on my bucket list for a while.  I did that with my cousin and roommate, the second time we did it there was a cop and we had to run around to find my other roommate who was driving!  It was wild, but very memorable. 

That morning when I woke up I actually felt decent surprisingly and I did a lactated ringer and sunbathed on my cousins deck!  People think me having the lactated ringer is cheating for hydration after drinking J  But, then I drank again that night and I went hard again!  One of my really good friends from high school came to visit me for my birthday and bought her really good friend from college and I could not have been more grateful to see that friend; she is very special to me.  I think I also drank more because this friend was here and I was in the moment and just feeling good, but let me tell you I regretted it!  I drank all liquor since I do not drink beer because of gluten and carbonation and the next morning I was in significant pain.  My body could not tolerate liquor well alcohol in general I should say.  I was in pain, especially my legs and my right calf was so nervy.  I was lying in bed and I just called my Mom and was almost drawn to tears to tell you the truth that is how severe the pain was.  I wasn’t “hungover” so to speak; I was “Lymeover”.  They are different, my body was very Lymie and just angry with me.  I was also very depressed and I found myself berating myself mentally for everything going on in my life and every decision I had recently made.  I just realized this was not worth it.  If this was what drinking did to me, not worth it.  So, lessoned learned.  

This is my off week of antibiotics; lets see how I do!  I go back to the doctors on Wednesday, when I will get a completely new protocol.  I must admit I am nervous.  My current symptoms include: 

-chest pain

-air hunger

-severe leg pain

-fatigue easily

-headaches severe (sometimes blinding and light sensitive)

-nerve pain right side specific

-right calf pain (that is pressurized, weird I know)

-back pain and pain at the base of my neck

-shooting pain in back

-sometimes my hands go numb

-had weird pain upper left quadrant only happened twice but it was very severe

-knee and hip pain

-knees swelling

-memory is definitely getting worse (short term memory)

-zoning out (mini seizures)

-dizziness

-disorientation

-very low blood pressure

-vision issues

-thinning hair (hair is really falling out!)

-right hand tremors

-temperature regulation problems

-sound sensitivity


"Do the best you can until you know better.  Then when you know better, do better."