My crafting has gotten out of control; I find it so
therapeutic that I can’t stop.
Journaling, crafting, and working out are the only activities where I am
distracted enough to not think about other issues in my life, mainly health
issues. My mind goes numb while I
am doing these activities and nothing else seems to matter, it is truly the
best feeling.
 |
| My glitter clothes pins! |
I am growing more anxious for school to start and for the
social scene at school because I have truly isolated myself this summer. I deactivated my facebook, I don’t
always respond to text messages, and I haven’t made an effort to stay in
contact with my friends because of my current state of health. I needed the summer to focus on myself
to be able to return to school in the fall and to be honest I am just hoping
I’ll be able to make it through the school year. I can’t have any of the episodes that I had over the summer
during the school year and the protocols are only going to get worse; they do
not get easier. Since I have not
spoken to many people over the summer I hope I am able to reintegrate myself
back into the social scene and if not to be honest I am more of the study hard
person not the go out person. I am
a very determined person that does not need distractions.
On Sunday, I was able to visit a good friend of mine from
JMU who graduated and now works for the Marriott. I think we both needed that night to be honest; I know I
hadn’t laughed that hard in forever.
We went out to dinner at Uncle Juan’s and had our waiter and the general
manager running circles around our table.
We even got a free dessert out of it because the general manager just
thought we were so beautiful (that is me getting a little cocky), although he
did think we were charming and had a lot of potential in the real world. It was nice to laugh, to have guys
flirting with us, and just to be with Rachel. I love northern Virginia; it’s so different from anywhere I
have ever lived or been exposed to.
I hope I can visit her more; I know she has a busy schedule but I am
fine with coming up to visit her to literally have dinner, spend the night, and
leave early in the morning; that is what friends are for!!!
Now things have been strange for meà I can’t seem to express my
emotions properly. They aren’t
coming out normally. I have been
getting overly angry, but not overly sad and I am trying to express sadness
because that is what I am feeling and I don’t know how to reverse it. I feel so backwards!
Symptom differences in the past few days (add to the list)à
-More zoning out for longer periods
of time
-More electric shocks down my arms
-Not sleeping
-Very tight neck muscles and mid
back muscles
-Knee, hip, and ankle pain (knees
are the worst)
-Extreme fatigue
-Still have the ear infection
-Air hunger
-Hurts to breathe sometimes
Yesterday I was able to see my friend Heather for a few hours and catch up with her and little Stevie to see how both were doing! They are doing great and she is already well on her way to planning her wedding; I am so happy for her; here is a little photo on how big Stevie is getting! He wasn't a happy camper because I was trying to feed him a bottle and he just wanted his Mom :(
Also, yesterday I got a lymphatic drainage massage because I felt
toxic and I knew I needed to detox; it is an off week of antibiotics so I want
to detox as much as possible and what better way then to stimulate the lymph
system! It was a great massage now
I just have to see how today goes.
After the massage I came home and napped for an hour and 10 minutes then
got ready for a special dinner for my sister for earning her pilot’s license. At the dinner, I felt out of my mind; I
was completely overwhelmed by the 20 people and I felt so sick. I was itching to get out of there; I
didn’t want to talk to a soul. I
couldn’t even make eye contact with people and I was super exhausted and felt
nauseous. After the dinner I came
home and ended up going to bed at 9:45; I had a splitting headache and had to
take a Vicodin just to help ease the pain a little so I could fall a
sleep. Luckily though I did sleep
from 9:45 to 6:30 which for me is a lot of sleep believe it or not! I know doesn’t sound like a lot but it
is.
On a different note, I am trying to build questions to ask
my doctor when I go in a week and a half.
Here is what I have so far… I am open to any suggestions or other blood
tests that I should have or medications or cremes or anything I should ask
about!
· Arterial venous blood gas test
· Quercintin and Voltaren gel
· DHEA blood test
· Ask about the chronic ear infection in my right
ear
· Phosphatidylserine -->Should I begin taking this?
· Other detox measures
· Bentonite clay
“The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; the
optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
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